I swear to God, I wrote this sentence during the first minutes of the show – “Ok, Hoyt needs death, quickly. He needs permanent removal from this equation.” LOL. I almost wet myself later when Jessica slammed his face into the counter! Too bad it was just a daydream. Damn though, he flipped a switch between her daydream and the real scene, huh? He gave her what for!
Later, when Jess showed up Jason’s doorstep, I was like, please let this be it, please let this be it, please let this be it, please let this be it.
Nope. Jason wound up doing some push ups in lieu of the smush ups I wanted to see. Damn it!
What the hell did Eric say when Sookie ripped the chains off his neck? I thought he was Steve Carell getting waxed in the “40 Year Old Virgin” for a minute. It was good to see him turn nasty when he was tapping Sookie’s neck, even if only for a second. Because they immediately follow that with more Vampire romance mumbo jumbo about “being one”. Of course, when we come back to them, it turns out he was talking about having sex on
acid V. The two of them are as sappy as hell. I swear they make me want to puke. If you had told me in Season one that they’d hook up, but I’d want to fast forward through it, I would have thought you were crazy.
Bill glamours his way onto tv, and makes a televised statement. I wanna know what he was going to say that Christ said. I’m betting it was something like “Judge not lest ye be judged”, but it would be much cooler if he said it was “Yo! Wine’s here!” or “Does anybody want more fish?”. Bill could shrug and say, “Hey, listen, thats what I heard, I know someone who was there”.
Antonia Maria Conchita Alonso accepts his offer of a sit down. But we had to wait all episode for it. Bill asks her for a truce, but she calls shenanigans. Then all hell busts loose with a battle scene! I was actually pretty amped up over it. Pam was there, and Bill’s strike squad, and Tara brought her wooden bullets… Eric was chowing down on people like he was me with a Frankie’s Pizza! Earlier, when he and Sookie “enlisted”, I was hoping they’d both wind up casualties. Unfortunately, when Sookie actually got shot though, I was like, ohhh nooo. Because I know they’ll never really let her die, and now we have to suffer through all the maudlin bs associated with her getting shot, with no actual suspense involved.
She winds up getting carried off by Alcide. I hope THEY hook up now. Not that I want to see more mush, but she might as well bang every guy on the show. Why leave Alcide out?
Earlier, Alcide was at a local Redneck Werewolves pack meeting where they settled on their isolationist policies. Then have a cookout. See? I told you werewolf women were called “Bitches”! LOL The young are pups, too. Debbie mentions that Sookie brings vampire baggage with her. To which I’d add “Mush” and “Gush”.
Jonesing Andy Bellefleur has his best line ever! “Jesus, tits and God America, Jason, what the $&#% is happening to me?” In fact his entire V monologue was funny shit! As was Jason’s response about stopping listening halfway through.
Looks like Evil Demon Baby’s ghost nanny was attached to Dirty Dolly Can’t Get Rid of Me… Its good to know, I was getting sick of just seeing her singing and disappearing. Seems now though she’s got a bit stronger “constant”. I wonder if anyone will notice the difference in Lafayette, LOL. Probably only if she doesn’t curse.
And lastly, Tommy finally added something to this show by posing as Hoyt’s mom. His best moment yet.
So what did you think True Blood fans? Will Sookie
stretch this bs out live? What will Antonia Maria Conchita Alonso do with Eric now? It’s impossible to make him a bigger wuss. And will Jessica and Jason ever really do smush ups? Please?
Let me know what you think!