TV Talk: True Blood Season 4 Finale (S4E12, “And When I Die”)

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We open with Lafayette and Jesus sharing a romantic breakfast.

Only Jesus doesn’t know Marnie is in control now, and he winds up getting stabbed in the hand by a fork.

Kind of like how Tony Romo stabbed me in the heart last night during the Cowboys game.

Sookie sees her dead Grandmother, and tells Tara. Tara asks what Sookie thinks her Grandmother would say to her if she was still alive. Surprisingly, the answer wasn’t “Quit being such a slut”.

Lafayette Marnie ties Jesus up and bitch slaps him when he invokes the name of Antonia Maria Conchita Alonso. She then tells Jesus a little Halloween history. Jesus chews her out, and insists “You can’t trade magic like Pokemon cards”, but Lafayette Marnie doesn’t listen. She turns the knife on herself so often I kept expecting her to bust out the Sherriff Bart lines. She tells Jesus she wants his powers. Apparently you can steal a Brujo’s powers by stabbing them in the heart.

Kind of like Tony Romo did to me last night in the Cowboys game.

Jesus gets stabbed, and Lafayette Marnie steals his demon face powers. At least, due to Lafayette’s “I see dead people” powers, he eventually got to say goodbye. Goodbye Jesus. You were a good character. We’ll miss you.

Bill and Eric are somehow suddenly chained up and getting burned at the stake. But Sookie whips out her occasionally accessible powers, Holly lays down a salt circle and then she and Sookie and Tara hold hands and summon up all the local ghosts in the Bon Temps cemetery, including Sookie’s Gran. Gran pulls Marnie out of Lafayette so that Antonia Maria Conchita Alonso can talk her into accepting death. Together they all walk off into the afterlife, but not before Sookie’s Gran tells her there’s nothing wrong with being alone, and that the answer is in her heart, not her vagina. Ok, I made some of that up, but it was pretty close!

In a shocking turn of events, Sookie actually listens to Grans advice and dumps Bill and Eric simultaneously. Of course, for a minute there, I didn’t think THAT was what she was going to do with them both at the same time.

In other Bon Temps news:

Arlene and Terry are dressed as zombies for Halloween. Arlene tells Sookie zombies are the new vampires, at which point Sookie probably wondered if that meant she was going to have to start banging Zombies. Terry meets up with a buddy from his days in the Marines whose life he saved a couple of times. Of course later the ghost of Bon Temps past visits to warn Arlene that he’s evil. I didn’t see that coming. Tuh.

Jonesing Andy Bellefluer has a cameo, but shows off his new sober confidence. Holly calls him Sherriff Andy, but the way he’s been notching the bedpost lately, I’m going to need a new nickname for him next season. Studly Andy? Swinging Dick Andy?

Tommy’s funeral is attended by four people. Sam, Sam’s girl, her daughter and Mrs Fortenberry. Tellingly, two of the four are there to support Sam. Mrs Fortenberry insists on being called Mama. I’d have taken a pass.

Speaking of Fortenberrys, Hoyt punches Jason in the face. Twice. And then kicks him. He deserved it. But the worst part may have been when he told him there was something inside him that was “Just missin'”. The truth hurts, and that was certainly true.

In happier news, just when I was about to decide as Director of the “Deborah Ann Woll Needs to put it on the Record Fund” to disband, and donate our remaining money to lingerie for her, we were given our greatest inspiration yet! We’ve decided instead to redouble our efforts for next year. She wants to do it ladies and gentleman, I know she does. We’re almost there, but we can’t be satisfied with close enough! We’re going to direct the money we raise next year to bribing her agent and the show’s producers that the full out nudity she’s so tantalizingly close to giving us is exactly what she needs to push her career over the top!! Her scene was a highlight of the night for me, as you can all imagine.

It almost made me forget the stab wounds I endured earlier during the Cowboys game.

The winner for this Season’s line of the year goes to Pam, for her emotionally charged, incredibly poignant, “Sookie! I am so over Sookie and her precious faerie vagina and her unbelievably stupid $&#%ing name!!” I’d like to thank all of this year’s contestants! It was sad seeing Pam cry for Eric, though. I know how she feels. Seeing what Sookie did to him this season almost made me cry too.

In an incredible, rapid fire, jaw dropping final minutes, we get the following shocking events:

Russell Edgington is out of his cement encasement!!

Reverend Newlin is back, and he’s a Vampire now!!

Bill and Eric kill Nan!!

Debbie Hairy shoots Tara, seemingly blowing the back of her head off!!

Then Sookie disarms Debbie Hairy and DEFINITELY blows her head off!!

Talk about ending with a BANG!!!!

And so, Season 4 comes to a close. To me, it wasn’t the best season overall, to put it kindly. There was Sam’s brother, the introduction of the “Faeries” and the panther village subplot. But once Eric regained his memories and the syrupy, candlelit drivel between him and Sookie wrapped up, the season definitely picked up. It helps that that coincided with the final handful of episodes, when series are always ramping up towards their finales.

But even though those storylines put a huge damper on this season, there were a lot of things I really liked. Marnie Antonia Maria Conchita Alonso was a good villain. Jesus and Lafayette both joined the supernatural side of the equation and Pam was given her biggest role in the series yet. And let’s not forget Evil Demon Baby, Jonesing Andy Bellefluer, and of course, Jessica and Jason!

And overall, the finale was explosive to say the least, and it set up Season Five EXCELLENTLY, when I was legitimately worried all it would offer us was Faeries.

So what did you think True Blood fans? Did you enjoy it? How about this season as a whole? What do you think of the setups they laid out for Season five? Is Tara really dead? Will Russell wreak havoc on Bon Temps again? Will Reverend Newlin get in the way of Jason and Jessica doing it every single episode? (I hope not) And can Sookie honestly avoid male Vampires without Necrophiliac Nymphomania Anonymous??

Let me hear it! This will be the last “issue” of the Bon Temps Weekly Gazette for nine whole months!!

17 thoughts on “TV Talk: True Blood Season 4 Finale (S4E12, “And When I Die”)

  1. I agree with you on the fact that the last episode for the season was “explosive”. Out with the old in with the new. I’m wondering what will happen now with Bill and Eric since they killed that vampire chick that was bossing them around. The season all and all was a very good season but like most of the characters in the series I’m getting tired of Sookie. Stop sticking your nose in other peoples’ business. I don’t care how awesome your pussy is, enough already. I say kill her character off and move on without her. The show can carry itself. They have enough story lines. That brings me to the next point, how many stories can they carry in one show without it getting confusing?? They need to trim it down some. But all in all an excellent series. Now that it is over I can look forwared to other shows. Good job Dan on reviewing this series.

    • Thanks buddy!

      I think honestly that that may be why they’re killing Tara (IF she’s really dead). They just have too many characters and don’t know what to do with them all. Aside from being a victim, they’ve never had good stuff for Tara to do.

      I bet Bill and Eric wind up with bigger problems on their hands than “The Authority”, namely one pissed off Russell Edginton!!

      But yup, all in all these last handful of episodes went a long way in making me enjoy the show again!

  2. Oh, where to begin? Stick a fork in me, I’m done. First off, couldn’t a badass brujo like Jesus get out of the duct tape that was holding him to the chair? The guy’s head turns blue and giant bone sticks through his nose and yet duct tape is all it takes to hold a freak like that down? Watching that whole pathetic Bill and Eric about to burn scene was almost as painful as Jason Garrett’s play calling at the goal line. Jessica, oh my Jessica…..The outfit was whew… I love how she didn’t have a problem dressing like a hooker for Jason, if that’s what you’re into? And how funny was Jason’s answer to Hoyt, well, first missionary, then doggy style, then Jess got on top. I almost wet myself. Hoyt did put a beat down on him though and it was deserved, but tell me you wouldn’t have taken that beating if you knew Jess was gonna show up at your house looking like that. The break up scene still made me want to punch Eric in the face and tell him to grow his vamp stones back. When Bill said he just wanted Slutty to be happy and Eric ran over with that stupid puppy dog smile on his face, YUCK!! He totally redeemed himself however when he ripped off the heads of the gay storm troopers though. Poor Nan, she had been alive (or dead) for 816 years. I guess Bill had decided that 816 was long enough. It would be nice to see Eric and Bill join forces and just start fu$%ing stuff up. In a totally shocking move, Alcide hits on Slutty now that he’s single. I can’t believe that she didn’t just hump him in Merlotte’s. Sam appears to have a little battle on his hands but I’m sure he’ll make it out alive. Is it possible that Russell is really going to return? I liked his character, he reminded me of Eric before he turned into a bitch and fell in love with Slutty. Interesting to bring back the preacher too. Of course, you know he can’t do anything to Jason. He has to be invited into his crib and after the fangs came out, even Jason isn’t dumb enough to give him the invite. I can’t say I’m super sad to see this season end, but this weekly blog will be missed. Maybe you could write about all those cool new shoes that the network was advertising last night. I’m sure you will be one of the (only) faithful viewers of them. By the way, I appreciate the effort. Especially after how the special teams and Garrett’s play calling destroyed the team’s chances of pulling off the “upset” in New York on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Do you believe in fate boy? Keep up the good work Fogs.

    • Right back atcha Digger, I’ve enjoyed your comments as much as you have these posts! It’s like we’re tag teaming this thing – although that’s probably a bad term to use around this series right now.

      I think the best point you made was Jesus not being able to get out of the duct tape. But I guess he needs magic potions and blood and yada yada.

      Truth is, just like Tara, they probably didn’t know what to do with him next season.

      I liked A LOT of what I was hearing out of Jess. I’m more excited to see where she goes in season five than I am to see if Tara is really dead. Lol.

      I’m sure we’ll pick up the torch for Dexter. But I’m not sure if the threads will be as much fun.

  3. Well, first of all, YAY the Cowboys lost, it would only be better if the Jets lost too but since i had to pick one, I picked the Jets. On even better news, the Browns lost so all of my Browns fan friends can start their weeping on day 1.

    Now on the the real TV for Sunday… I was stunned by Sappy Pam. She is strong and bitchy, she is not supposed to have a soul. I figure she went on to do Ginger after the scene was over and give her some real fang marks. I was sad to see Jesus go… I loved him and LaLa but knowing this is True Blood, I forsee Jesus in future seasons. The ending had me stunned… Tara gone? Say it ain’t so! Debbie was not going to be anything more than a huge thorn in Sook’s side so I am glad she is gone. I think this will pave the way for Sookie to take a walk on the Wolf side. mmmm Alcide, at least Sookie will learn a new position!

    the best actor of the season goes to Fiona Shaw. When she was first on the screen, I saw Petunia Dursley but she made me forget any other character she played. By the end, I could not even see Petunia in her- she was Marnie. She was a bad ass!

    • LOL @ Sookie taking a walk on the Wolf side.

      Grr @ your being happy my Cowboys lost. How dare you!

      Anyways, yes, Marnie was great. I mean I started the season calling her “the forgetful Witch of the South” look how far she came! The problems this season had had nothing to do with her, that’s for sure.

      I don’t know if I’m rooting for Tara to live or die… They never gave her a good story except for “Eggs”.

  4. This season turned me from an ‘Eric preference’, to ‘Eric obsessed!’ Find it very strange that after just having such intimate experiences with Eric, all it took was a little bit of Bill’s blood and suddenly Sookie “loved” them both equally. Disappointed she didn’t just choose Eric – but hopefully the next season she will go back to him or turn to Alcide and then he can occupy my daydreams instead (I was when team-Alcide when he first turned up, and boy he’s hot when he growls!).

    I expect either Tara will die, OR Bill and Eric will turn up and feed her (I know the sun was coming up, but they may run there superspeed with an umbrella if they feel Sookie’s pain… You never know!

    Feel so bad for Lafayette – and also sucks to lose the only genuinely sexy gay relationship I’ve ever seen on TV. But his character wont go anywhere – like he said “Lafayette is a medium”.

    Most excited about Jessica and Jason’s “relationship” – and the fact the reverend is back and a vamp! I’m not worried about Jason’s safety regarding him turning up – firstly he’d have to invite him in, and Jessica would be there in a second to protect him.

    Don’t give a crap about Sam’s storyline – he’s become so boring and utterly unlikeable.

    Keen to see what the story is with the random sex in the field between Andy and the Fairy?!!

    • I’m going to meet you halfway on Sam. I dont think he’s unlikeable, but he sure as hell is boring.

      I dont know why the Faeries chose Andy. Maybe it was in the books? Maybe it was just to remind us all… “hey dont forget. there’s faeries coming”.

      Yeah, Jesus was alright with me. Sucks to lose him. Tara on the oher hand, I wont really miss. I dont think the show ever knew what to do with her. Like you point out though, she may not actualy be dead.

      I forgot about Vamps being able to feel people’s pain. You’re right, the dynamic dup may come a’running to save her. I kind of hope not though, I’m sick of that storyline between the three of them. Give me old bad ass Eric back. PLEASE. Now that he’s been dumped, maybe he’ll start acting up. :D

      Anyways, thanks for stopping by and posting up!!

  5. It’s funny that the things you listed as good about this season were the ones I listed as bad (e.g. evil devil baby, gay witches, etc.). But it looks like someone at HBO reads Awesomely Shitty, because they took my advice and killed off four annoying characters this season. I really, really hope that Tara stays dead (she’s the worst character on the entire show), but something tells me they will pull some bullshit to bring her back. Next season if they can wipe out some more people, maybe True Blood can get back on track.

    • Ohhh… Cool, did you do a season end post? Can’t wait to get over and check it out!!
      :D

      I like evil babies. They’re awesome. I love “The Omen”, and the evil demon baby on “Soap” was one of my favorite subplots.

      Lafayette has always been one of my favorite characters on the show, and I actually think his relationship with Jesus is one of the best couples the shows put forth yet. (Although Jess and Jason could blow it away with ease if they keep it up! :D)

      Can’t really defend the witchery/medium/brujo stuff. I’ve just learned to accept a lot of strangeness I guess.

      Looking forward to checking out your post, hope you’ve got something new up!

  6. I just wrote a post about it.
    I didn’t like the season at all but, as you said, the finale sets up a very promising season 5.
    I hope we’ll get back to the greatness of seasons 1 and 2, also thanks to some more than welcome comebacks!

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