Now showing on cable: “I Am Number Four”

Premiering on Showtime this weekend was this year’s Sci-Fi movie, “I Am Number Four”

“I Am Number Four” is the story of nine alien children who escape to earth in order to hide from a hostile race, the Mogadorians, which have invaded their home planet. The nine of them were “gifted” with special powers which could help them fight back against the invaders. Now, however, the “Mogs” have found them on Earth, and are killing them in sequential order. The first three are dead. “John Smith” is number four.

It’s kind of like an alien assassination game of nine-ball.

Like many super powered teens, John Smith’s powers have only begun to manifest themselves, and he’s having some control issues. He has the ability to shoot backlight from his hands, be really good at parkour, and throw a football like it was shot out of a cannon. He has a personal guardian with him (Olyphant), and the two of them try to stay on the run.

When I first saw the promo clips for this on Showtime, I thought it had an enormous amount of potential.

To be awesomely awful, that is.

It didn’t disappoint.

The aliens are silly looking, they have a ridiculous name, and there’s this shiny veneer of teen angst to everything, from the music to the long held gazes between the awful teen cast. It’s deliciously terrible. The acting was really, really, really bad, the story was lame, and once the gloves come off, the action vacillates between guilty pleasure level entertaining and downright comical. It has an abundance of mockery worthy moments.

It’s obvious that the studio DID put some cash into this flick. They just didn’t put it in the right places, such as a decent script or teens that could act. Plus it’s a Michael Bay production, and you can see his fingerprints on it… Lots of things go boom.

D Mediocre and forgettable if you’re seriously trying to watch a real movie.

B+ If you’re a fan of bad movies that you can play “Mystery Science Theatre: The Home Game” to.

12 thoughts on “Now showing on cable: “I Am Number Four”

  1. I’m going to disagree completely, hope you don’t mind! Well not quite completely as I too thought it had an enormous amount of potential to be awful. But I saw this on its cinema release earlier in the year and both me and my other half loved it! OK this kind of teen-with-superpowers story has been done (and done and done) before but the effects are good, the girl on-a-bike is cool, the action’s fine, the characters are likeable, and it’s even got a cute dog! And the acting is fine!! It’s just good fun and is even on my top 10 movies of the year list, but then it’s not been a great year for movie releases imho.

    • No no, I don’t mind at all! It’s what it’s all about!

      Of course, that works both ways, though.

      So, I can see enjoying it in a guilty pleasures sort of way I guess. But cmon. That acting was bad. You have to give me that! The lead was a doorknob, lol! :D

  2. I read the discription of the movie as I was looking at what was playing this weekend and did a pass. Sounded stupid. Glad I didn’t waste my precious space on my DVR much less my time.

  3. This reminded me too much of Twilight when I saw the theatrical trailers… which made me want to stay far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away from it.

    But if it really is laughably bad, and not just Please-Kill-Me-Now bad, I’ll have to check it out sometime.

    • I had some laughs with it, for sure.

      And it definitely was Twilight-esque. I think I saw on the Wikipedia page that it was an intentional attempt to be a “Twilight for boys”.

      I’ve never seen Twilight, but I’m going to buy the blu ray box set when it comes out, have a one day marathon, and blog it. I will go to some serious lengths to entertain, here. :D

      • I’ve watched the first one, and barely made it out alive. To watch all five… especially knowing how badly they’ll stretch out those last two, making 2 movies from one book that is probably too long to begin with?

        You’ll be the sparkling vampire… covered in blood and broken glass from smashing your TV*.

        *Yes, I am aware that new LCD and Plasma TVs don’t send glass shards everywhere anymore. You call that progress?

      • I have no fear Spike.

        There’s gold in them thar hills. Comedy gold.

        I’m goin’ in.

        LOL… of course, there’s plenty of time to cop out, but I can’t get past these new trailers I’ve been seeing. They crack me up.

  4. Yeah, I just recently saw bits and pieces of this and even watched it with the sound off from the middle to about the end (he was talking on the phone and I didn’t miss the dialogue too much or need it). Definitely bad, totally agree.
    And I don’t think that you should do a marathon of Twilight! I only saw bits and pieces and I wanted to take a pen and poke it into my eye. It was just that painful, and that was only the first one and watching 5 min. of it.

    • Oh.

      I have no fear. NO fear.

      If there’s a joke to be made? I’m going for it. Consequences be damned. LOL.

      I figure I have about a year to build anticipation for it too. Now watch. I finally watch them and I’m like. This isnt THAT bad. I kind of LIKE sparkly vampires.

      LOL!!! :D

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