Ok everybody, here we go!
The Worst Director of 2011! These guys weren’t hamstrung… They had decent budgets, they had big name stars, they had a chance to get it right, and they fumbled it. Each of them turned in work worthy of being labeled “hack”.
Your nominees are: Michael Bay, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon”, Clint Eastwood, “J Edgar”, Jim Sheridan, “Dream House”, Tarsem Singh, “Immortals”, and Zack Snyder, “Sucker Punch”.
Click through to find out which of these five “Won”!
TARSEM SINGH – “IMMORTALS”
It’s hard to adequately express my lack of respect for “Immortals”. It’s a movie with a terrible script, bad acting, crappy action sequences, ridiculous costumes, interjected “symbolic” animal shots. It’s just a silly mess of a movie that’s impossible for me to take seriously. And the man behind the magic? Director Tarsem Singh.
Let’s start here. It’s up to the director to get the actors and actresses within their film to perform. So lets look at some of the performances he got. Mickey Rourke… well Rourke was sublime. And he knew it, that much was obvious. Because you can just tell watching him that he knows he’s giving an acting lesson on how to be bad ass. LOL. I think he could have ripped an earthquake of a fart during a take, not lost his glower, and insisted Singh leave it in. “It was perfect.” Aside from Rourke, Henry Cavill gives the single most uninspiring inspirational “rally the troops” speech ever.
“Stand your ground! Fight for order! Fight for the man beside you! Fight for those who bore you! Fight for your children! Fight for your future! Fight for your name to survive! Fight! For immortality!”
I’m honestly afraid for the new Superman movie because of this. Freida Pinto actually thought she was auditioning for a TV Commercial for McDonald’s. Apparently Tarsem never filled her in.
But it’s also his job to set the tone, create the atmosphere. Singh “paints” with colors that are typically either way too dark (how else do you show it’s very “serious”, right?snnnggght) or outlandishly garish. I’m sure he didn’t design the costumes, but at some point he had to approve them, no? Have you seen some of the headgear and whatnot?Singh crafts a world world drenched in hyper-machismo, except done by someone who pretty much doesn’t understand what being “macho” is about. There’s all these slo-mo “300″ style action sequences without the benefit of being doing by Zack Snyder. So.. the camera slows down and says “Check out THESE visuals”, except theyre not cool, so it winds up laughable. Half the movie’s characters are Gods, so the movie is filled with dialogue about “The Gods” and “Mortals”. It’s not exactly commonplace stuff.
To top it all off, anytime there’s a symbolic shot or some kind of flourish, it’s completely ridiculous. I use the term “Ham Fisted” a lot, but it’s not enough here. Take a moment and actually picture it. A person with hams – Big whole hams ready for glazing – as hands. Now picture them trying to operate a movie camera or editing software. I think they’d do about as good a job as Singh.
Listen, Bay’s a hack. We all know it. But he still managed to craft a spectacle worth a trip to the theatre. Eastwood made us eat sawdust, but his movie’s main crime was being hyper dry. That’s a misdemeanor in comparison to this felony. Jim Sheridan put a movie together that the studio couldn’t get behind, so they recut it… but that winds up drawing his culpability into question a bit, so he’s off the hook. And even though Znyder served up the hot mess special that was “Sucker Punch”, at least it had cool visual effects.
Singh stands out to me. Like a sore thumb.
Your FMR MAJOR Award winner for Worst Director.
What do you think everyone? Still got your torches and pitchforks out for bay? Were you actually a fan of “Immortals”? How about “Sucker Punch”, did I not kick it around adequately in the “Most Disappointing” thread? Looking for Snyder to pick up the win here too? Let me hear it!