Fogs’ Oscar Diary: Pt 2 – The First Hour

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Overture, curtain, lights!
This is it. The night of nights.
No more rehearsing or nursing a part.
We know every part by heart!

Overture, curtain, lights!
This is it. We’ll hit the heights!
And oh, what heights we’ll hit!
On with the show, this is it!

Ok, ok, ok! Made it alive through the Red Carpet! Now it’s time for the REAL Deal…

Morgan Freeman? I thought Billy Crystal was hosting. Titty Sprinkles! LOL

The opening movie parody montage… Billy Crystal getting tortured into hosting. Yeah, Right. LOL. More like, “I CAN??” That’s almost funnier than Clooney kissing him. He fits right in with the old ass baseball scouts from Moneyball. Justin Bieber gets Midnight in Paris? Criminal. Good. Eat the pie, Billy. Serves you right for working with Bieber there. MI:4 interrupted the “Hugo” segment. I’m all for that, LOL. If Hugo had some action sequences, I might’ve liked it more…

Billy leads with a couple of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close jokes. Huh. Better than the sing and dance number.

YES! An award already. Please! Give me anything!

Cinematography… Cool. Cmon Tree of Life! Oh. Hugo. Ok… (twinge of fear thinking about the potential of this becoming a “Hugo” landslide night, after I’ve been badmouthing it for months) cause it’s totally back to backing it right here with Art Design. And… Yup. “Hugo”. 2 Oscars in ten minutes. Not unexpected though. Marty gets some thanks. “This is for Martin. And for Italy.” I’d be careful about offering shit up to Italy… It might get pawned to pay down Bond interest. Lol.

Billy is hammering the theaters financial issues pretty hard.

What are the connection between all these movies being shown right now? A full half of them weren’t been nominated for Oscars.

Goddesses Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez swish out on stage as costume design posters drop from above and everything glitters. I just got OUT of all that Red Carpet shit, this is much too soon. Oscar goes to “The Artist”

“Hugo” 2, “The Artist” 1. This could get interesting.

Apparently winners have 10 seconds for their speeches now. This could be over on time! LOL

Make-up. Harry Potter? Any chance? No. The Iron Lady. Good sign for Meryl Streep? Can’t be a bad one, right?

Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez both just showed us their asses. Jennifer Lopez’s ass has always been legendarily huge. What’s your excuse Cameron?

Morgan Freeman saying King Kong was his first movie was awesome. Adam Sandler talking about Sean Connery’s chest hair, not so much.

Even if you’re one of these “I have no chance in Hell of winning nominees”, I bet they still feel like puking right now.

Bullock speaking German. Huh. Ok. Foreign Films… I should know movies like this, as a blogger. But I can’t be bothered.

And the Oscar goes to Iran. If you had mentioned Iran and the Oscars to me prior to this, I would have thought “Bombing”. Dude gave a nice little peace talk though. “If I can change… And youse can change…”

Christian Bale gets Batman music. Doesn’t suck to be Christian Bale.

Supporting Actress already! Sweet! Beginning to feel like the Oscars!

Ok, ok, ok… And the winner is…

Octavia Spencer! Let the predictability begin! Straight chalk, all night!

She’s so nervous! She may cry, or puke, or both… Please wrap up? If the Oscar wonders why people think they suck, look no further…

Ok, Melissa McCarthy didn’t win, can you stop showing her burping and crapping and stuff now? LOL

Did Billy Crystal just make a racist joke? I thought he was brought in NOT to do things like that…

The Christopher Guest comedy troupe needs a name. It was a funny little bit mocking focus groups.

Editing. Hugo, or the Artist? This’ll be something to watch… Hugo wins here and it’s gonna be a big night. Or… Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. That’s unexpected. Looked like they didn’t even expect it.

“Hugo” wins for sound. “Drive” snubbed yet again. This was one “The Artist” couldn’t win for, so… But still “Hugo” 3 “Artist” 1.

What’s the freaking difference between Sound Mixing and Sound Editing? Seriously? Sound. Ok? They told Octavia Spencer to “Keep it moving” so we could watch two sound awards?

“Hugo” 4 “Artist” 1.

Annnnd we’ll be right back after these words from our sponsors…

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14 thoughts on “Fogs’ Oscar Diary: Pt 2 – The First Hour

  1. I’m enjoying the hell out this show. GO HUGO!!

    (btw, do you really want me to explain the difference betwen Sound mixing and editing? ’cause I will.. in DETAIL… ;) )

    pps. I LOVED the diet Coke commercial about all the people behind the scenes. nice.

    • I mean, I can imagine them. I know. But it IS very technical. Seeing a crying, overjoyed Octavia Spencer getting “hurry upped” and then seeing two categories there… just upset the logic centers of my brain

      • I’m with you Fogs; screw the hurry up on big acting categories; she should have kept talking I suppose. Elated she won; kudos Octavia!

      • I know, right? Let ‘em talk as long as they want, and then if you need to give the boot elsewhere (Like they did to the winners of Best Documentary) you do it. That could have been the moment everyone would have remembered about tonight, she was gonna cry like a baby for sure!

      • Imagine, if you will, a timeline containing multiple blank audio tracks. you put your dialog on tracks 1-4, alternating the pan around to give the illusion of space and distance. You put your sound effects on tracks 5-8, bouncing them around as well. You put your music tracks on 9-12. You tighten them up here, give a little breathing space there, always matching back to the video edit and HEY PRESTO! you’re editing! But wait! Everything is the same volume, there’s no separation between something close and something far. And the music is drowning out the voices and the footsteps are as loud as the sipping tea cup and the voices sound like they were recorded in a windtunnel and its bedlam!

        But hark! Who is this who takes your audio tracks to his Protools suite… Tis the mixer! He who can take bedlam and sooth it’s savage brow. With deft manipulations of levels, EQ and filters, he removes the roomtone from the dialog track, he softens the footsteps, he takes the sibilance away, he balances to levels so that far away sounds farther away then near away. He makes the gunshot sound like an impressive BANG, rather than a puny pe-uw. He balances the music so the swells swell right and the crescendos crescendo right and you can still hear the dialog and the sfx. He does all this and more for Dolby 5. surround, and then he has to do it again for plain old stereo.

        In my job I usually have to do all 3 jobs, but if I have the option to call in either a sound edit or a mixer to help me out, I’d take help from a good mixer any day of the week,

      • Thank you, Gelf. Very informative. Also explains why there is so much confusion among the laypeople on the difference, as it doesn’t sound as though one would come out very well without the other.

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