Overture, curtain, lights!
This is it. The night of nights.
No more rehearsing or nursing a part.
We know every part by heart!
Overture, curtain, lights!
This is it. We’ll hit the heights!
And oh, what heights we’ll hit!
On with the show, this is it!
Ok, ok, ok! Made it alive through the Red Carpet! Now it’s time for the REAL Deal…
Morgan Freeman? I thought Billy Crystal was hosting. Titty Sprinkles! LOL
The opening movie parody montage… Billy Crystal getting tortured into hosting. Yeah, Right. LOL. More like, “I CAN??” That’s almost funnier than Clooney kissing him. He fits right in with the old ass baseball scouts from Moneyball. Justin Bieber gets Midnight in Paris? Criminal. Good. Eat the pie, Billy. Serves you right for working with Bieber there. MI:4 interrupted the “Hugo” segment. I’m all for that, LOL. If Hugo had some action sequences, I might’ve liked it more…
Billy leads with a couple of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close jokes. Huh. Better than the sing and dance number.
YES! An award already. Please! Give me anything!
Cinematography… Cool. Cmon Tree of Life! Oh. Hugo. Ok… (twinge of fear thinking about the potential of this becoming a “Hugo” landslide night, after I’ve been badmouthing it for months) cause it’s totally back to backing it right here with Art Design. And… Yup. “Hugo”. 2 Oscars in ten minutes. Not unexpected though. Marty gets some thanks. “This is for Martin. And for Italy.” I’d be careful about offering shit up to Italy… It might get pawned to pay down Bond interest. Lol.
Billy is hammering the theaters financial issues pretty hard.
What are the connection between all these movies being shown right now? A full half of them weren’t been nominated for Oscars.
Goddesses Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez swish out on stage as costume design posters drop from above and everything glitters. I just got OUT of all that Red Carpet shit, this is much too soon. Oscar goes to “The Artist”
“Hugo” 2, “The Artist” 1. This could get interesting.
Apparently winners have 10 seconds for their speeches now. This could be over on time! LOL
Make-up. Harry Potter? Any chance? No. The Iron Lady. Good sign for Meryl Streep? Can’t be a bad one, right?
Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez both just showed us their asses. Jennifer Lopez’s ass has always been legendarily huge. What’s your excuse Cameron?
Morgan Freeman saying King Kong was his first movie was awesome. Adam Sandler talking about Sean Connery’s chest hair, not so much.
Even if you’re one of these “I have no chance in Hell of winning nominees”, I bet they still feel like puking right now.
Bullock speaking German. Huh. Ok. Foreign Films… I should know movies like this, as a blogger. But I can’t be bothered.
And the Oscar goes to Iran. If you had mentioned Iran and the Oscars to me prior to this, I would have thought “Bombing”. Dude gave a nice little peace talk though. “If I can change… And youse can change…”
Christian Bale gets Batman music. Doesn’t suck to be Christian Bale.
Supporting Actress already! Sweet! Beginning to feel like the Oscars!
Ok, ok, ok… And the winner is…
Octavia Spencer! Let the predictability begin! Straight chalk, all night!
She’s so nervous! She may cry, or puke, or both… Please wrap up? If the Oscar wonders why people think they suck, look no further…
Ok, Melissa McCarthy didn’t win, can you stop showing her burping and crapping and stuff now? LOL
Did Billy Crystal just make a racist joke? I thought he was brought in NOT to do things like that…
The Christopher Guest comedy troupe needs a name. It was a funny little bit mocking focus groups.
Editing. Hugo, or the Artist? This’ll be something to watch… Hugo wins here and it’s gonna be a big night. Or… Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. That’s unexpected. Looked like they didn’t even expect it.
“Hugo” wins for sound. “Drive” snubbed yet again. This was one “The Artist” couldn’t win for, so… But still “Hugo” 3 “Artist” 1.
What’s the freaking difference between Sound Mixing and Sound Editing? Seriously? Sound. Ok? They told Octavia Spencer to “Keep it moving” so we could watch two sound awards?
“Hugo” 4 “Artist” 1.
Annnnd we’ll be right back after these words from our sponsors…