Fogs’ Oscar Diary: Pt 4 The Big Finish

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Overture, curtain, lights!
This is it. The night of nights.
No more rehearsing or nursing a part.
We know every part by heart!

Overture, curtain, lights!
This is it. We’ll hit the heights!
And oh, what heights we’ll hit!
On with the show, this is it!

Here we go, the final hour! The big Awards! The Grand Finale! Best Actor! Best Actress! Best Director! And of course, Best Picture! Let’s do it!

The Bridesmaids women just treated “Live Action Short” category as an excuse to make penis jokes. I’m sure the nominees are thrilled they’re treating the moment of their lives with such respect.

Now they’re taking shots. Classy.

Glad to see the Bridesmaids women leave the stage. I enjoyed their classless raunch in an R Rated comedy. Treat the Oscars with more respect than Penis jokes and shots, please…

Michael Douglas sounding good. Looking well. Very happy to see it. Presenting Best Director… Hugo’s dominance so far makes me think Scorsese has a chance of being the night’s first surprise.

What do you think, Mike?

Michel Hazanavamma… He seems very happy, but I can’t tell what the hell he’s saying. I no longer worry about not being able to pronounce his name.

Now, if Scorsese had won there, the Director/Picture split possibility would have still been in play, right? Is it still? Hugo has 0.00000 percent chance of a win now, right?

Great to see James Earl Jones get an Honorary Oscar. Oprah? Not so much.

Commercial break… All that’s left is Actor, Actress and “Artist”. LOL

The people we lost montage. Morbid, but I’m looking forward to it. Whitney, huh? Peter Falk and Sidney Lumet gave me chills. Jackie Cooper… Forgot. Ben Gazarra. Liz Taylor sees us out. Classy. Wow. That was very very tasteful and elegant. Excellent.

I’m sick now of these celebs talking about movies. One segment was awesome, 82 has been rough. Cmon, put Adam Sandler in this one, too, no?

Natalie Portman gets the Black Swan intro. Introducing all the actors now, little clips, little pat on the back, this is the one moment of true suspense in the whole night. Will George Clooney beat out George Valentin?

Who you got for us Nat? Wowwww. No Oscar for you George. Dance Jean, dance. Why does the audience seem underwhelmed? Are they disappointed Clooney didn’t win? Seems like only the people really happy are the others involved with the Artist.

Ok, on to the Actresses. Colin Firth is pretty stiff in real life, too, huh? He’s introducing the “Please not Glen Close for Albert Noobs” nominees. Seeing Mara’s clip from “Girl” makes me wish she would win. Not tonight though, tonight feels like the no “surprises allowed night”.

Ho-Ly Shit. THAT’S a surprise. Seriously? That’s a career award right there. Even Streep can’t believe it. I don’t know that I’m down with this. That movie kind of sucked. She was decent and all, but I’d never watch that flick again, isn’t there something off about that? Viola Davis and Mara just got jobbed, I think. Good for Meryl Streep. She’s the queen.

Still going to go through the motions of presenting this thing, huh? Everybody knows what’s gonna happen Tom, just say “Moneyball” and get it over with. LOL. Honestly though, this is a little anti-climactic. Rough seeing Viola Davis crying in the best picture montage seeing as she’s probably crying right now.

Love Cruise’s delivery of the “And the Winner Is…” the way he said “The Artist”, he might as well have said “WTF do you think it is?”

Still can’t get over how unenthused this crowd seems to be about all of this…

And the credits roll…

Well, there you have it folks, one big shocker at least. I’m sure the movie world will be all abuzz tomorrow as to whether or not Streep deserved it. “The Artist” is a really phenomenal motion picture and deserved this big night. Can’t wait to see it again…

I had fun writing these up, hope you had some fun reading them!

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32 thoughts on “Fogs’ Oscar Diary: Pt 4 The Big Finish

  1. Haven’t seen “The Artist”, and I’m sure it’s a wonderful film. But I suspect that this joins the recent trend of Best Picture winners that will be mostly forgotten in three years.

    • Nah, man. You’ll be surprised. I actually liked it a lot. I recommend it very highly.

      Still, the experience of people who dont speak English fluently winning such a high percentage of the time made the watchability suffer. Why not just grab a translator, so you can fully express yourself in the moment?

      And for whatever reason, that audience was seriously unenthused I thought.

      • That’s not a knock on “The Artist”. I hope to see it soon. And I didn’t have another dog in that fight, so I certainly don’t mind it winning.

        But like “Hurt Locker”, “King’s Speech”, “Slumdog Millionare”… appeal is going to be somewhat limited. Three years from now, most people will struggle who won for 2011. And I suspect the same would be true with most of the other nominees as well.

        I guess what I’m saying is that there has been a dearth of GREAT films that are also BIG.

  2. Loved the song at the beginning of this post. Always makes me think of Looney Tunes and the Bugs Bunny and Tweety show!

    and yes, it was great to see James Earl Jones receive the honorary Oscar. When Oprah got one too I was like…”What??! For what?”

    • Thats where I got it from. I didnt know it was from anywhere else. LOL. :D

      I agree… I dont think humanitarian prizes should get co-mingled in with Oscars. There’s other awards for that stuff

      • I don’t think the song was from anything else originally… at the very least, I know that it was used for various Looney Tunes TV slots as early as 1960.

        And yeah, humanitarian awards just seem out of place. I was going to say “especially for someone whose connection to film is tenuous at best”, but apparently Oprah’s been doing some voice-over work since her roles in The Color Purple and Beloved, so I’ll grant them a pass on that; she’s a movie person.

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