Guest Blogger! Jaina!

Hi my name’s Jaina and I am an online dater. I get a nervous shiver just typing that and feel ever so slightly queasy and embarrassed. But it’s a true fact. What’s this true fact got to do with films? Be patient, I’m getting there!

Over the past couple of years I’ve been dabbling in online dating. It’s led to me quite a lot of first dates. Those kind of first dates where both parties are nervous and probably aren’t totally themselves. They’re full of small talk and niceties just to show you’re not a total loon.

(Seriously, Jaina, when are you going to get to the film stuff!?)

It’s no surprise that I tend to go out with a lot of like-minded guys. As in guys who are massive film fans. Well, that’s their claim. They love TV, film and they take bets as to whether I’ve seen x or y or read comic book z.

So, I’m on a first date and we’ve got through the talk about what we do and where we live and I’ve smiled and been polite. Then he asks, “So what do you like to do?”. In amongst my answer will be my love of film, to which he replies, “OH me too!”. Sadly, when he says that what he really means is that the last film he saw in the cinema was Inception. With the current year being 2011. Late 2011. What do I do with that?! I go to the cinema a few times a month! To which I get the most shocked expression I have ever seen and I’m quizzed as to whether I think if that’s a waste of money. *sigh*

Or you get the other sort of first date film talk experience. It’s all going well. He loves cinema. He loves film. He even likes foreign films with subtitles! But wait… he asks what your favourite films were when you were little. My list consists of the likes of Gremlins, The Goonies, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future. 80s classics my eyes. To which I’m met with a blank stare. He’s never seen ANY of them! Or worse still, he’s never heard of any of them! You’ve got to be joking. You’re more or less the same age as me. What did you watch growing up?! *sigh*

Then there’s the other guy. He loves his action films. Anything with some explosions and your action hero walking in front of said explosion without looking back. Then I chime in and profess my love of all sorts of action and fightastic films. To which I’m met with the retort, “Really?! But girls don’t usually like action films.”. Seriously. We’ve got to this point? How unbelievable is it that I’d like Rambo: First Blood, Police Story, The Expendables, Fast Five, The Rock, the list could go on! Why is that reserved for blokes? *sigh*

If I remember rightly, the guy who had the above reaction had an equal reaction when I began sharing his love of Transformers. Then he might have got a tad jealous (or ashamed) when my knowledge surpassed his own. Woops!

I could go on and on with this list. I think I’ve been met with disgust/surprise/disgusting surprise when I mention a specific genre of film or TV. Or even the fact that I’m a total geek/nerd when it comes to TV and film.

Why on earth is this happening!? Still! I can jump on my laptop and within seconds I’m at blogs and forums where there’s never a gender divide when it comes to the sorts of films you enjoy. Everyone’s on a level playing ground. There’s no stigma or judgement attached when I say I’ve been to the cinema every week this month. Or I’ve got a hankering to watch Top Gun this weekend. Ok, maybe a little on the latter.

Mixing dating and film interests is a dangerous thing. Things can go terribly wrong. Though they can go amazingly right when you’re faced with a guy who loves your every little quirky film loving habit.

So guys out there remember – there’s no such thing as “girls films” or “boys films”. They’re one in the same. We’re all film fans. Right?

(Don’t worry – I didn’t kick any of the above guys to the curb based solely on their film habits or their reactions to mine. Well, maybe one.)

___________________________________________________________________________

Everybody knows Jaina from around these parts, but now’s the time to stop by her blog and check it out. Time Well Spent chronicles all the movies she watches, random thoughts on life, and her excellent photography! Give it a look!! :D Thanks for sharing this with us Jaina, I’m sure everyone else will enjoy it as much as I did!

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46 thoughts on “Guest Blogger! Jaina!

  1. Entertaining rant Jaina! As long as their movie taste isn’t the only reason you kick them aside you should be fine. And remember you can always try and educate them on movies! I do think that some movie genres are marketed towards specific genders (romantic comedies and action movies jump to mind), but of course that doesn’t mean the other gender won’t be able to enjoy them.

    • I remember trying to educate one guy before. Didn’t work. I think he felt like I was forcing my opinions on him. Which I really wasn’t!

      Thanks Nostra :)

  2. I know how you feel. When I tell people my favorite genre is Horror, I’m looked at like I came from the Haunted Cave. I actually tried online dating and after putting in all my likes and dislikes, the computer fixed me up with me. (I can’t win)

    • Being judged by your film tastes is terrifying, isn’t it? If you like horror, you’re seen as some blood thirsty crazy. Action flick – dumb blond. Black & White/Foreign – Artsy/up yourself. Feels like you can never win!

      Awww, you’re the best match for you? Clearly no one out there who can compare!

  3. Gremlins and Police Story mentioned in the same post? WINNAGE.

    Great post, Jaina :) And when you find that guy, be sure to make clones of him for the rest of us.

    • Cheers Philip!

      That confuses me so much. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone who loves going to the theatre then going on to say they think it’s a waste of money. Not once.

      • I think it’s a case of degrees, or maybe just a distinction between loving movies and loving going out to movies.

        In my case, I’d probably see just about every movie in the theatre if I could, but the cost simply adds up too quickly unless I’ve got a high-paying job. (And when I do, the lack of time adds up; the eternal conundrum…)

  4. I enjoyed reading your post Jaina.

    However, I do find that enjoying good movies and feeling like paying money at the cinema is a waste, are not mutually exclusive.

    • I do agree to a certain extent. I love watching films, but these days I rent them on DVDs and average 2 films a week. Much cheaper than going to the cinema. And I can make my own popcorn too :)

  5. Splendid post, Jaina, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and high five! I too LOVE action stuff as much as my period dramas. In fact, my taste is quite sporadic as I could watch Iron Man and then switch over to Persuasion back to back and will totally enjoy both. I think it’s silly that some guys generalize that all women must be rushing to see something like The Vow as soon as it comes out instead of The Avengers (which new trailer released today just gets me all riled up!). I do hope one day you’ll find a man who shares your taste in movies. Surely he’ll be a lucky bloke as he won’t ever be dragged into the latest Aniston/Heigl rom-com, I know my hubby is one of them :)

    • Great to know us breed of gals aren’t alone. Bet your hubby is thrilled he’ll never be dragged to the cinema to see Sex and the City: The Next Generation.

      (New Avengers trailer – OH MY EFFING LORD…. now that’s a trailer!)

      • No effin’ way, I HATE Sex and the City and anything in that vein. It shows women being over-sexed, shallow and unscrupulous, definitely not something I’d ever enjoy watching.

  6. Love the post, and love Jaina!

    The whole film situation in relationships is so complicated. And even more complicated if the other person has an awful taste in film!

  7. Great post, Jaina. I can sympathize… just picture the looks I get when someone asks me if I like comedies, and I have to qualify it with the answer that I do, but I’ve only enjoyed a handful from the past twenty years. “Oh, you just don’t get it.” No, I get it, it’s not exactly hard to get. His friends compared sex to a warm apple pie, so now he’s showing confection affection; it’s not exactly complicated. It just doesn’t get a laugh out of me. The gross-out comedies have been more a factor with fellow-guy socialization and not dating, but my general dislike of rom-coms has certainly affected my dating to some degree (they’re the “safe bet” for a first date with a girl, but it’s a bit hard to talk about a film if she likes it and I don’t). As well as the fact that I openly like sci-fi, fantasy, and superhero films; doesn’t help that so many aren’t good, of course, but it’s amazing how many people will cheerfully go to such a film if they think it’s an action film but would think it “nerdy” if the same film were classified differently.

    For what it’s worth, there are guys out there who appreciate a girl with a broad appreciation of film, and while there are some individual films that are marketed to a particular gender, I don’t think any particular genre is really gender-specific. Loved the skewering you gave to guys who don’t get that.

    • Now there’s a situation I can relate to, too! I think slowly the barriers against sci-fi films and “nerdy” films are coming down, but I’ve noticed a bit more resistance towards films that are foreign or considered “arty” where truly they’re not, they’re just great little films!

      I don’t mind skewering a guy or two. They need to be told ;)

  8. Sweet Post Jaina, Personally I don’t know if I could be with someone if they had a vastly different taste in film or music than me. I like a bit of variety but if they were say a huge fan the new Star Wars films we would have a problem.

    • I believe anyone who openly admits to being huge fans of the new Star Wars films are under a certain age. If they aren’t then run away!

  9. Hurm, interesting post. Personally, I don’t really think about movie opinions when it comes to dating. However, when a girl I know does have good taste in films, I find it a turn on. Which is INCREDIBLY geeky, I’ll admit it, but it’s true.

    • It always seems to be one of those things that come up in first date small talk. Well, for me it does!

      Aint nothing wrong with a bit of geekiness.

  10. Maybe you shouldn’t focus so hard on finding the perfect movie geek ahaha ;) It really shouldn’t be such a big deal when finding someone to date. In any case, fun post Jaina!!

  11. Jaina, really loved your post. And wanted to let you know that the prejudices against movie buffs and movie goers is not confined to dating. Ask Fogs about an incident with a co-worker at lunch! I still don’t think he is over it!

    And don’t worry you’ll find the one….probably at the movies.

  12. Oh hello Jaina, nice to see you here!

    I totally agree, it happened to me as well.
    “Really?! But girls don’t usually like action films!”… Seriously?! Someone needs to adjust his gender expectations.

    Great video choice, btw :)

  13. Totally agree – there isn’t/shouldn’t be a gender divide in films. No, not only girls like the occasional romcom, and I happen to know just as many girls who like actions films as guys. It’s not that weird! I went to a private college where this idea was assumed (guys like actions, girls like romance, the end), and this guy commented on how some guy was “so lucky” because he was marrying a girl who liked action films. Really? Come on! Is it really that odd anymore?

    Great post, Jaina!

    • It really isn’t that odd. Or it shouldn’t be! Though I know there are girls out there who perpetuate the whole “girls only watch girlie films” and there’s a big part of me that really kinda hates them….

  14. Really entertaining read, Jaina. That’s what is so great about the movie blogging community — generally we are all open minded, and there are so many good blogs about any niche/genre you can think of. Thankfully my girlfriend is into all sorts of movies, even though I am still disappointed she hated 2001: A Space Odyssey. :D

    • The movie blogging community is great. No matter what kind of film I see, I’m never personally judged!

      That film I have yet to see. I need to rectify that soon.

  15. I’ll just state for the record that I went out with a girl last year who loved my favorite movie of 2011 so much she took a picture of the theater marquee with her iPhone.

    It all ended in disaster anyway.

    And so it is.

    (I enjoyed your post.)

  16. Jaina I loved reading this. I thought the purpose of online dating was the ease of finding someone with similar interest–instead of your reminding your date of your interest? “What do you do?” I would be like, “did you read my profile?” I agree that there isn’t such a thing as ‘guy’ or ‘girl’ films. Film’s just have to be awesome. That’s all!

  17. Had to chime in cuz I have experienced this with movies-on-dates type conversations plus seeing a guy totally turn off because I was a bigger/more knowledgeable fan of jazz mx than he was. Better class of guy will not be threatened by your passion for film, right? My husband and I bonded over Dr. Who way back when and other classics, inc. Bill Murray comedies, etc. We continue to love watching action/sci-fi/animation and all those things together. (I only rarely get him to watch something like The King’s Speech with me.) Better still, our daughter is also a fan of lots of different genres and won’t allow people to give her the ‘but that’s boy stuff’ line. Thanks for this post!

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