The Smurfs 2

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I would rather get kicked in the smurfberries than have to watch this movie again.

Since the events of “The Smurfs”, Gargamel (Hank Azaria) has become a world-famous magician, creating tricks and illusions using his Smurf-essence powered magic wand. He’s begun to run low on essence, however, so he’s forced to hatch a new plan to obtain the coveted magic liquid. This time, instead of capturing Smurfs, he decides to make them. If he can get the secret formula that Papa Smurf (voiced by Jonathan Winters) used to turn Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) into a real Smurf, then Gargamel can make his own Smurfs, turn them blue, and extract their essence. It’s a plan that would essentially give him access to a limitless source of power.

In order to trap Smurfette and get her to reveal the secret Smurf conversion formula, Gargamel sends two of his grey Smurf creations, whom he calls “Naughties”: the scheming Vexi (voiced by Christina Ricci), and the dim-witted Hackus (voiced by J.B. Smoove). These two bad intentioned little characters kidnap Smurfette, then try to get her to be naughty with them in order to win her over and have her reveal her secret.

Meanwhile, Papa Smurf discovers that she’s missing, and leads a team of Smurfs (Clumsy, Grouchy and Vanity) to come rescue her from the human world. Of course, they’ll need the help of Patrick Winslow and family again (Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, and this time Brendan Gleeson) if they want to succeed.

Along the way, you can be sure there will be plenty of jokes aimed directly at children. I can respect that, but it seems as if the humor here is aimed at dumb children. You know how Adam Sandler movies are dumbed down to that lowest common denominator level of humor? Think of that, on a 6-year-old level, and you have the humor of Smurfs 2. It’s as if it didn’t even respect the kids film audience’s intelligence. It’s filled with lifeless pratfalls, poor characters, and using the word “smurf” as a substitute for any word imaginable. It was a frustrating movie experience.

In the first Smurfs film, at least I had the pleasure of discovering Hank Azaria’s Gargamel. Azaria fully gave himself to bringing the silly cartoon character to life onscreen, and I admit to finding some laughs in his interpretation of the part in that film. His performance is still the only redeeming quality to the franchise for me, but having seen it once, apparently, is more than enough. Because here, a second helping revealed that it had already overstayed its welcome. Now it joins the annoying Smurfs and Neil Patrick Harris’ and Jayme Mays’ bland “Live Action” characters (a misnomer here if ever there was one) as another pitiable, pathetic component of this turgid turd.

I normally love animated movies. It’s rare that they’ll score less than a B with me, because honestly, how bad does a movie have to be to ruin the enjoyment of watching a cartoon? Here though, it’s easy for me to shred into this film, because it’s so patently, egregiously bad. “The Smurfs 2″ is a terrible film, I feel sorry for parents who will be dragged to this by their children, it’s a painful, excruciating, insulting hour and forty-five minutes of film.

F

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44 thoughts on “The Smurfs 2

  1. Haven’t watched the first one. I can’t make any promises that I’ll never have to watch them.

    She’s got a few books and toys–mostly based on the vintage design and not the movies–but I am in no hurry to put any kind of Smurf related items on the screen in front of Charlotte. I’ve watched a few episodes of the cartoon, and even as much of a nostalgia nut that I am, and even as much as I loved the Smurfs as a kid, I couldn’t watch them as an adult unless I’m hammered, and taking a drink each time someone says “Smurf”.

    • It’s true that the Smurfs were always best accompanied by some form of intoxicant. I will say that. LOL. And frankly, there were moments here – namely in the Smurf village, if anyone is wondering – when I saw the potential for a decent animated movie from the original property.

      Sadly, this isn’t it. This isn’t even close to it. Thankfully I have no attachment to the original property, or I’m sure that this would make me want to puke. LOL 8O

  2. Sounds like someone was channeling their inner “Grouchy Smurf” when they wrote this review!

    Luckily this one isn’t anywhere near my list of movies to even *think* about seeing, so I’m happy to go along being “Blissfully Unaware Smurf” on this one!

    • I dont mind that comparison as long as its classic Grouchy Smurf, and not this crappy new George Lopez one :roll:

      “Blissfully Unaware Smurf” is much better than “This Movie Makes Me Question My Vow To Review Every Wide Release Movie Smurf”, let me tell you. ;)

  3. Thankfully, our three year old didn’t care for the first one enough to warrant even attempting this one. Suppose Planes will be next for her.

  4. Since I was unable to get through the first 30 minutes of the first movie (the roommate had bought it so I had the luxury of leaving the room) I couldn’t even handle the thought of this movie. It was such a strong reaction that I nearly deleted this email notification. Then I decided I was curious enough to see what you had to say about it. It sounds worse that I imagined and I didn’t think there was room for anything worse.

  5. Hank Azaria was on Daily Show this week, pimping his new movie “Lovelace”. When Smurfs 2 was brought up late in the interview, he basically rolled his eyes and said something like “yes, I’m sure that’s a good movie too.”

    • I loved that. Especially with Oliver yelling, “That’s right, I’m a Smurf, deal with it.” as everyone, including Azaria groaned at the mention of the movie.

    • You know? I can’t blame the guy, and he does try his best… But the material just sucks SO bad… I mean, it’s just so poorly written its incredible.

      Lovelace is coming though, LOL. Forgot about that one. Amanda Seyfried fans rejoice…

  6. I saw the first film and fucking hated it. It was just atrocious but I wasn’t surprised considering that it was helmed by hack-extraordinaire Raja Gosnell. I would rather be forced-fed human shit than watch the sequel.

  7. Your time is more valuable than this. I suspect you would be forgiven if you skipped these kinds of movies. Of course then we would miss the extended analogy of Smurf movies to Adam Sandler films. Sounds valid to me, but I skip those too.

  8. How do you know that Smurfette doesn’t “put out”? All the men in the village have blue balls. Yes, I wrote that joke years ago and that’s all the attention I’m giving them. I cringed every time the trailer was shown. Didn’t see the first one and have no desire to see the second. You should be made a saint, Fogs.

  9. LOL, I half expected you to skip this one all together! Thanks for sacrificing your time to confirm what the entire planet already assumed :)

  10. Ouch, You know I recently watched the 1st film for $1 at a kids summer series. I was actually surprised how almost not completely terrible it was. However, this second installment sounds even worse than the first one.

  11. And so, sadly, Jonathan Winters joins the ranks of good actors whose final film is terrible. I’m sure he was a great Papa Smurf. I’m equally sure I have no interest whatsoever in seeing any part of this film franchise.

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