It’s time, it’s time!
Gather round your computer screens, put on your masks!
It’s time for the astonishing conclusion of “Awesomely Awful: Halloween III: Season of the Witch”!
It’s time, it’s time!
I realize that the terror may be too much!
You may be overcome with the horror!
But we have to press on! What fiendishness lies at that heart of the Silver Shamrock Mask Company?
WE NEED TO KNOW!!!
The one WITHOUT Michael Myers.
Rock and Roll Nightmare (The Second Stanza)
You can read the first part of my Awesomely Awful “Rock and Roll Nightmare” write-up here.
When we last left our heroes, Thor and the Tritonz, everyone had settled in to bed for the evening, and was involved in some stage of hooking up or attempting to hook up. When Drummer “Stig” heads off to the bathroom alone, he meets his untimely demise at the hands of this creature:
Is that… ketchup? Tomato Soup?
Now the demon has taken on Stig’s form, and he’s headed into Luanne’s room! Will she fall for it? Can she be saved??
Read on Awesomely Awful fans, read on!
Let’s open this one with this bit of fun… While surfing for images to lead this post with, I came across the “Rock and Roll Nightmare” soundtrack! A beaut, to be sure.
See if you can pick out which one of the following ridiculous song titles below is made up:
We Live to Rock (Let’s Tune Our Weapons)
Damage Control (Let’s Rock One)
Nocturnal Invader (Phil’s Demise)
March of the Purple Star Fish
Somewhere When Rises the Moon
Awww… I’m just messing with you! NONE of them are. Each of them is an actual track listing from the soundtrack to this movie!!
Tone set? Ready for some cheesy goodness? Click continue reading and let’s dive in!!
(Read “Part I: Welcome to Nilbog”, here and Part II: “Creedence Leonore Gielgud Strikes Back” here.)
PART III: Behold, the Power of Bologna!!
When we last left our hero, he was surrounded by Goblins, all chanting for him to eat. Now, he’s the only one in this movie that knows any better, so he doesn’t. He starts crying out for his Grandpa Seth to help him!! Grandpa Seth doesn’t make it, but his Dad does.
Here’s yet another clip from the movie, showcasing the talents of the cast:
Why are all these clips labeled “Worst Acting Ever?”
Part II: Creedence Leonore Gielgud Strikes Back
(Read “Part I: Welcome to Nilbog”, here)
Yes, meet Creedence Leonore Gielgud, of ancient druid origins. Her ancestors came from Stonehenge.
We know this because when she first appears in the movie, she strides up to the two teens who have stumbled into her house and says, “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Creedence Leonore Gielgud, of ancient druid origins. My ancestors came from stonehenge.” She’s got some kind of accent, I couldn’t really figure out which. Transylvanian, maybe? I dunno, let’s just call it “bad”.
She promptly directs the visitors’ attention to these huge slabs of rock in her home, with a glowing light between them, and smoke wafting out from that same space between. We’re given the impression that… this is Stonehenge, and she somehow has it (or part of it) in her house.
You can’t make this stuff up folks! At least I couldn’t.
But wait, there’s more!!
PART I: WELCOME TO NILBOG
Welcome to yet another series I hope to establish here at fogsmoviereviews: “Awesomely Awful”. Here I’ll discuss those “So bad they’re good” movies that are at the apex of that genre. They’re not so bad they’re good, they’re so awful that they’re awesome. I love these movies almost as much as the movies I consider classics.
Seriously. Troll 2 is more fun to watch than 3/4 of the movies released in a given year. It happened by accident, sure. But should that be held against it? Hell no. Ridiculous-ness drips from every pore of this film. It should be preserved in the National Archive.
It’s gonna take me a week to mock this fully. It’s a three parter. But I promise you all an epic deconstruction. Whether you’ve seen this movie or not, click through, check it out. It’s LOADED with screen caps so you can follow along. Oh, and don’t worry about spoilers. Like a Twinkie loaded with additives and preservatives, “Troll 2″s delicious goodness can never go bad.
Let’s start here. There are no Trolls in “Troll 2″.