Total Recall

As I’m certain that everyone is aware, “Total Remake” – sorry, “Total Recall” – is a remake of the 1989 Sci-Fi/Action classic starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I’m not certain how fair or unfair it is to constantly compare remakes to their original inspirations, but when a movie is as beloved as the first “Total Recall” is, comparisons to it are inescapable. It’s the price that needs to be paid if Hollywood is going to recycle properties, I suppose… not that they care.

In that regard, it’s a pale imitation. Though the special effects are better, the action sequences feel generic and, occasionally, forced. Its stars can’t provide half the charisma that Schwarzenegger, Stone, Ironside and Ronny Cox did back in the day. And perhaps worst of all, the plot has been dumbed down a degree for today’s audiences (as Hollywood sees them). As a remake, it fails.

Even taken as a completely individual, stand alone┬ámovie, “Total Recall” isn’t that good. Every bright-spot is offset with something blindingly┬ábland. Eventually it succumbs to extreme averageness and winds up almost completely forgettable.

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