Too Much Twilight to Take?: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2″

Breaking Dawn 2No joke. I’m writing this in the computer room cause I don’t want to go back in front of the TV. I want it over, but I need a break. I feel like Rocky getting his ass beat by Clubber in Rocky III. I hadn’t expected these movies would be THIS bad. “He’s strong, he’s too strong…”

I’ve been at this for twelve hours now. TWELVE hours of watching “Twilight”. Whose idea was this anyways? I need to punch someone, but I think it’s me, and I’ve been punched enough today.

Everything is flagging. Towards the end of that last post, I realized I wasn’t even making jokes anymore, I was just summarizing what was going on. I’m seriously dragging myself across the finish line now.

This was a poorly conceived idea, I doubt anyone is still reading along – why the hell would they? Who wants to? What kind of dumb ass would think people would?

But I’m finishing God dammit. I’m finishing… not gonna quit NOW, that would really be dumb. So in I go! One last ^$%&ing Twilight piece of crap to sludge through, let’s get this over with.

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Too Much Twilight to Take?: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1″

Breaking DawnAlright. Little breather. No joke, this is getting tough. Watching these crappy ass movies, blogging as fast as I can… feeling a little drained here, and I still have two movies left.

My worst fears about these movies have come true. They are neither good nor so bad they’re good (though they do contain relatively frequent, blessed, laughable moments). Bella Swan is a modern-day Helen of Troy, launching a war between vampires, and between werewolves and vampires. She causes two supernatural creatures to fight for her hand, and one sparkly, spineless vampire boy to question his sexual orientation.

WILL anything happen in this movie? WILL Edward man up and take Bella up on the half-dozen offers she’s given him? WILL Taylor Lautner win his war against the oppression of shirts once and for all?

Let’s see. I’m ready, let’s do it, it’s back on! Breaking Dawn, yeah!!! Here we go!

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