The 2011 FMR MAJOR Award Winner for Worst Picture

Drum roll please.

Or in this case, perhaps a de-dum-tum-tsccch rim shot would be more appopriate.

Here we are. The WORST Movie released in 2011. There’s a lot of stinkers. Hollywood will do anything to make a buck. But in these cases, they crossed the line. These movies were laughable attempts at making a “quality” product, they reaked like rotting fish. I wouldnt wish them on you under any cuircumstances.

Your nominees are: “Abduction”, “Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son”, “The Change Up”, “Immortals”, “Jack and Jill”, “Just Go With It”, “New Year’s Eve”, “Priest”, “The Roommate”, and “Season of the Witch”.

The crate please! Wait. What… what’s that sound… why is my desk shaking? The floor? What’s going on? Oh no! It can’t be! It’s… It’s…

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The 2011 FMR MAJOR Award Winner for Worst Director

Ok everybody, here we go!

The Worst Director of 2011! These guys weren’t hamstrung… They had decent budgets, they had big name stars, they had a chance to get it right, and they fumbled it. Each of them turned in work worthy of being labeled “hack”.

Your nominees are: Michael Bay, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon”, Clint Eastwood, “J Edgar”, Jim Sheridan, “Dream House”, Tarsem Singh, “Immortals”, and Zack Snyder, “Sucker Punch”.

Click through to find out which of these five “Won”!

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Immortals

I had been here before.

Unsuspecting. No particular anticipation.

But I’m a veteran, experienced. Getting grizzled now even.

So when that first swell started… I noticed it right away. The first visuals, I mean, right from the opening shot. I was like “Ooh. Garish.” The dialogues starts. Mickey Rourke sets a priest on fire. There was a different taste in the air. I sat straighter in my seat.

This was “Awesomely Awful” territory. And big surf at that.

I geared up. Headed out. The fight scenes started and a parade of people in silly looking costumes flatlined dialogue about Gods and mortals. “Get me out there, get me out there” was all I could think. This was a monster. “Theseus” fights a “Minotaur” that’s really just a big dude in a barbed wire bull mask. I tweeted madly, laughed out loud openly. This was legendary stuff! “Get me out there get me out there!”

Little did I know what I was facing.

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