A Haunted House

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“A Haunted House” is scary alright.

It’s scary as hell that anyone ever thought that this offensive piece of garbage would be funny.

Vulgar, racist, contemptible, nauseating, dim-witted, and ultimately pitiable, “A Haunted House” makes a strong early bid at Worst Movie of 2013.

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The 2013 Winter Movie Season Preview

Winter

Ok, boys and girls. The Holiday Season is over… and the Spring Season, full of mini Blockbusters, is still months away.

Between now and then lies Hollywood’s dumping ground. The Hollywood fields lie fallow in the winter, bearing little quality product. It’s the two months of the year we need to “Get through”. While January typically offers some limited releases from the prior year going wide, there’s typically little else to get excited over.

Will this year be different? Are there any movies to get excited about these next two months? Let’s take a look at the release slate and see what we’ve got!

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Now Showing on Cable: “30 Minutes or Less”

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Opening this weekend on Starz was last year’s “30 Minutes or Less”.

Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride, Nick Swardson, and Michael Peña, “30 Minutes or Less” is the story of a pizza deliveryman who is forced to rob a bank after having a bomb strapped to him. As dark a prospect as that is, the movie is a comedy.

So the question before us becomes, does comedy ensue?

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Now showing on cable: “Just Go With It”

Premiering this weekend on Starz was this year’s “Just Go With It,” starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston and Brooklyn Decker.

“Just Go With It” is the story of a plastic surgeon (Sandler) who wears a wedding ring to pick up girls, even though he’s not married. When he finally meets the woman of his dreams (Decker), she finds the ring he uses, even though he hadn’t used it to pick her up. She mistakenly believes he’s a married man who was cheating on his wife with her. In order to convince her he’s not, he tells her he’s divorced. One lie leads to another and before you know it, he’s backed into saying he has children.

It’s the latest in a long line of reasons why someone needs to stop Adam Sandler from making movies.

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