Now Showing on Cable: “Priest”

Making its premium cable channel debut this weekend on Starz was 2011’s “Priest”, starring Paul Bettany, Maggie Q and Karl Urban.

“Priest” is a movie set in the proverbial “Dystopian Future”, where large city states are controlled by a religious hierarchy, while outside their walls, vast wastelands are overrun with vampires. Due to vampire’s traditional weakness to religious artifacts and items, the warriors in charge of defending the cities and fighting vampires are priests.

When one of the priests hears that his frontier relatives have been slaughtered by vampires, and their daughter kidnapped, he leaves the protection of the city in order to prowl the wastes in search of the girl.

Comedy ensues.

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The 2011 FMR MAJOR Award Winner for Worst Picture

Drum roll please.

Or in this case, perhaps a de-dum-tum-tsccch rim shot would be more appopriate.

Here we are. The WORST Movie released in 2011. There’s a lot of stinkers. Hollywood will do anything to make a buck. But in these cases, they crossed the line. These movies were laughable attempts at making a “quality” product, they reaked like rotting fish. I wouldnt wish them on you under any cuircumstances.

Your nominees are: “Abduction”, “Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son”, “The Change Up”, “Immortals”, “Jack and Jill”, “Just Go With It”, “New Year’s Eve”, “Priest”, “The Roommate”, and “Season of the Witch”.

The crate please! Wait. What… what’s that sound… why is my desk shaking? The floor? What’s going on? Oh no! It can’t be! It’s… It’s…

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