I was less than 20 minutes into this before I had to fight the urge to claw my eyes out.
I don’t know why I did this to myself. I mean, I’m my own boss here, no one gave me an assignment, no one is telling me what to do… it’s my blog. We all know I’m a shameless hit whore (Seriously, if a car full of page-views rolled up on my corner, you know I’m leaning in that window goin’, “Hey Baby” …), but have I sunk to this?
If you’ve been pregnant and want to look back and laugh, or if you’re a girl or woman who fantasizes about being a mom one day and dreams of being pregnant, then this movie may hold something for you. Aside from that, I can’t imagine a single person on earth that would want to subject themselves to this. Not even movie bloggers, take it from me, it is not worth whatever traffic you think you’d get for posting about it.
No less than 17 couples get pregnant at exactly the same time via the magic of Hollywood, and the movie follows all of the pregnancies (or adoption process in one case) in order to give a good cross-section of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”, which apparently is: Moodiness, irritability, discomfort, extreme flatulation, frequent urination, back pain, etc… unless of course you’re Brooklyn Decker, who doesn’t get fat or feel discomfort at any point in time, even during delivery, even though she’s carrying twins. If you’re a man, apparently what you should expect is to kiss your penis goodbye altogether, because having a baby means you have no life, no fun, no freewill, no hope, and no manhood.
This is a movie that combines all the vapidity of one of those “Cavalcade of Stars” rom-coms like “Valentine’s Day” and “New Year’s Eve” with the inherent entertainment value of pregnancy. It’s a recipe for an excruciating time even if done right, but it’s not. It’s actually an exercise in reinforcing stereotypes in the worst way. It’s a romantic comedy that’s unencumbered by romance or comedy and instead composed of two hours of belabored labor jokes, bemoaning women and neutered men. The “Dude’s Group” spend the entire movie bitching about having to watch their penises shrivel off, and shamelessly grovel at the feet of Joe Manganiello because he’s still single and playing the field. But then in a single second they completely flip the script at the end and claim fatherhood is the best thing that ever happened to them. Similarly, for the women, it’s completely based on the experience of pregnancy, I don’t think any of these people even talk about wanting to be parents at all, they’re all just going through a pregnancy.
If you’re looking for a funny movie? Pass. Ok? However, if you’re looking to see Elizabeth Banks rip a deadly fart and blame it on her fetus, this is the movie for you. If you want to see a movie that has humor revolving around fathers of babies (because those trailers DID prominently push the “Dude’s Group”)? Pass. Ok? However, if you want to watch Cameron Diaz and her baby daddy bicker over whether or not they should circumcise their child, this is the movie for you.
I could write more, but you get the point. This movie is exclusively for moms or expectant moms, and even then I would recommend they take a pass because it’s not very good. It’s wrapped up in clichés, soaked in “hollywood trite” perfume, and completely short sells the worth and reasons for having children to begin with.