Here’s the best thing about Piranha 3DD.
It practically comes with a warning label.
Between the title and that poster it is absolutely scaring away or driving off any people who would potentially… I dont know, stagger into the theatre by accident. I don’t see any old ladies taking way too long to buy a ticket staring at the showtime listings asking the cashier “W-what’s that Piranha 3DD about?” I don’t see any families with young kids with little Billy saying excitedly, “Mommy, Mommy, Piranha 3DD!! Piranha 3DD!!” and then the mom answering, “Is that what you want to see? Oh ok…” LOL
No, between the marketing and the previous movie, I do believe that the only people who will check this movie out are people who will enjoy seeing a CGI Piranha chomp onto someone’s penis, or enjoy slow motion silicone shaking shots, or get a kick out of David Hasslehoff mocking himself.
If you’re one of those people? “Piranha 3DD” is the movie for you.
“Piranha 3DD” isn’t a “so bad it’s good” movie, they intended this movie to be this way. Thus, it’s “camp”. We’re not dealing with a horror movie, it’s a comedy.
This time, the CGI carnivorous Characidaes are after a water park, owned and operated by David Koechner (Champ from Anchorman) in a suitably skeevy manner. His high concept is to run the park as half family entertainment, half adult entertainment, with a cordoned off “Adult” pool area that there isnt enough chlorine in the world to sanitize. He ships in strippers by the busload, hires them as lifguards, sets up a stripper pole, condom machine, etc. It’s a strip club you can swim in essentially.
Meanwhile his step-daughter and all of her friends hang around and talk about sex until they can get eaten when the fish come.
And the fish do come. There’s some nonsensical mumbo-jumbo about the pool drilling a well that connected to an underground river or something, and then the piranha are reportedly attraced to chemicals like chlorine, etc etc, whatever, no one is watching this movie for zoology class. What they are watching it for is to see people get chomped up and screaming and sillyness and pointlessly interjected topless shots. In that regard, the movie succeeds to an extent.
The movie features cameos and/or small roles from Gary Busey, Christopher Lloyd, David Hasselhoff and Ving Rhames, and a couple of them are really very funny. Lloyd is surprisingly enthusiastic about his role, and still packs that zany charisma that put him on the map. Hasselhoff pretty much steals the show with his self-depricating turn as himself here. There’s moments when I felt bad that Marcellus Wallace has been reduced to this, but Rhames’s character’s brief appearance has some entertaining moments as well.
“Piranha 3DD” knows what its doing, and does a pretty good job at it. There are plenty of funny moments scattered throughout, and some of the actors brought a level of humor to the film that’s probably above its script. But it’s not as good as its predecessor by a long sight, and I think that’s due to the whole “Extreme” factor. You know, everything has to be bigger and raunchier and even more offensive. Not that its predecessor was any shining example of subtlety, but “Piranha 3D” got the mix between camp, crass, and serious moments much better. Not that’s its a cinematic classic or anything, but it seemed to stir the drink with a little more skill.
Nonetheless, everyone who actually watches this will know exactly why they’re tuning in, and this movie wont disappoint those people… at least not greatly.