Tossin’ It Out There: Which movie would YOU change?

Everyone has some movie that irks them in some way. It would have been good if only____

Some change or improvement you’d like to make, or some disappointment you’d like to eliminate…

Maybe you’d like to go back to “The Phantom Menace” and digitally erase Jar Jar Binks. How about taking Mickey Rooney out of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”? Maybe you want Leo to live at the end of “Titanic” or killed Sam Witwicky at some point during Transformers? What if “Aliens 3” were set on Earth, or if “The Village” didn’t have that twistless twist at the end of it, or if Neo didn’t bring his powers into the “real world” at the end of the Matrix trilogy.

Whatever it is, everyone has some element they’d change. Some movie element that irks them. What’s yours? Which movie(s) would YOU change if you could?

Hindsight is 20/20! Let’s hear which movies you wish they had gotten right the first time around!


105 thoughts on “Tossin’ It Out There: Which movie would YOU change?

  1. The prequels are a up there for me. Make Rouge less awful in the X-men trilogy. Oh and maybe have Ashley tell Scarlett he doesn’t love her at the picnic in Gone With the Wind.

  2. “I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell” possibly the worst adaptation of a book to the silver screen. Ever. If you are not familiar with the book of the same title, it is written by Tucker Max and is about his varied drunken, sexual, debaucherous adventures, heavily based on his somewhat cavalier treatment (or mistretment) of the lady-folk. However, it is one of the funniest things I have ever read. First off, taking a book that is essentially a series of unrelated stories and turning them into a movie is a tall order, but
    the way they did it, making a half assed story and incorporating some stories
    from the book was a major FAIL. My solution? There is a chapter in the book \
    where he realizes that sometimes women use him the same way he uses women. I would make this the opening of the movie.
    Then I would have the movie told in retrospect as he walks the streets, experiences an epiphany
    of sorts, rethinking his life and all his various drunken adventures culminatingng with him thinking that maybe his life isn’t all
    that great and maybe he should be a better person. Then end it with him
    saying simply, “Naaaaaah, f**k that.”

    Either that or I make the fourth Indiana Jones movie about ANYTHING BUT ALIENS!!!!

    • But now that I’ve been watching “Ancient Aliens” so much, I’m convinced that the quest for Alien artifacts within the ancient ruins may have been Indy’s most important quest yet!! 😀 LOL

      Anyways, I havent seen “I hope they serve beer in hell” what’d they do, PG13 it? Water it down? I can imagine them not having the guts to properly bring something of that ilk to the screen.

      • It was definitely r-rated, and admittedly there were some funny parts,, but it was just bad storyt telling. Worse, it was boring predictable story telling. They basically turned the book into a story about a bachelor party gone awry and used some of the stories from the book as the jokes. Its like someone wrtote a script, left out the funny parts, read his book, and cut and pasted a couple of chapters and stuck them in the script.

    • I read a Tucker Max story on his blog that was pretty darn funny about his buying an industrial grade bullhorn adding to the hoopla of the student campout for season basketball tickets dubbed the student social event of the year. Unbelievably funny and definitely R-rated type college humor. It’s too bad this type of story did not translate well to a movie as you mention here.

  3. All right… I can probably come up with a few. I’m going to leave out any “It shouldn’t have been made” movies, and I’m also going to leave out any films that I think just needed a full scale re-write. Just stick to things that need only one or two changes to make them good.

    Attack of the Clones: Trim the entire romance plot arc to the length of Han’s and Leia’s: I.e., about 10 minutes across the entire trilogy, not 60 in one movie.

    A.I.: Artificial Intelligence: End it with Osment’s character staring at the blue fairy. Yes, it’s dark. But it’s not batshit nuts stupid, which is what the released ending is.

    No Country For Old Men: Show the freaking climax!

    Next: Remove the whole twist ending. I watch movies to see the plot resolved in the movie.

    Green Lantern: Make Hal Jordan’s personality be more accurate to the comics. And don’t have Parallax be a major factor in the first movie — lead into it.

    • Hmmmm. I have some disagreements.

      Attack of the Clones. Nothing can save this abomination.

      AI – I kind of like the ending. It did take me some time. It had to grow on me, but now I like it.

      No Country is perfect. They did show the climax 😀 It was the “dream” recounting at the end 😀 Oh… you want them to show the shootout. (shrugs) Id have to give it more thought, but I think such a thing would invalidate the central metaphor. Which I shant be revealing my interpretation of here. 😀

      Havent seen “Next”

      GL – I can see what you’re saying about Hal. Didnt spoil it for me, I guess I know why they did it, but they could have easily chosen to be more true to the comics….

      • The romance plot is easily the biggest thing wrong with AotC. Maybe not the only thing, but I think if that had been fixed, the rest wouldn’t have been viewed half as badly.

        A “dream” is a piss-poor climax. And yes, they should have shown the shootout, and the decision regarding the girlfriend. Literally everything important about the end, except for Jones’ character deciding to just give up (which was also pretty weak) wound up not being shown. It’s a shitty ending. If it serves some central metaphor, then they needed to make a different movie for that metaphor, because it doesn’t serve the movie they made.

        And don’t see Next. Just a fair warning. 😛

      • You’re quite wrong, sir, I look forward to discussing in depth one day when I can put my thoughts to words in a fully fledged MTESS.

        That movie is a legend. And the end is perfect 😉 Honestly, its one of my favorite movies of all times.

      • West Side Story and How Green Was My Valley have Best Picture Oscars too. Not going to win me over with a little statue. And I think it would convince you either — would you have been persuaded had they given it to War Horse? 😛

      • Man, I’m tellin’ you. Set. In. Stone.

        That movie is all time great. Perfect as is.

        Get some friends, man, link up a bunch of essays… I shall budge not an inch.

      • I think MTESSing “No country” is a great idea especially in light of the events in Aurora Colorado. Cormac McCarthy and the Coen brothers are perfectly matched for this horror story. Merciless, unexplainable evil has never been addressed so well. From the very opening where Tommy Lee tells about the teenage death row killer who told him if they let him go he would kill again on his way to hell, to the cold hard ending, this film grows more relevant. We keep looking for “why?” but come up dumbfounded.

      • It may be true, but I dont think I want to tie an MTESS in with that event. 😦

        Ive been holding out “No Country” – and a bunch of others actually – as carrots at the end of the stick for myself. Plus I dont want to write about all my favorite movies and then run out of them. So I dont know that it’ll happen in the near future, as appropriate as it might be.

  4. I read Chris Sims’ review of Superman 3, and I sorta have to agree with him that it may be the most underrated of the first 4 Superman movies. Superman’s powers make sense for once (no amnesia kiss, no cop-out time travel deus ex machina, and most importantly, no cellophane “S”). Robert Vaughn is actually pretty close to how we envision Lex Luthor today, making him more Lex Luthor than even Gene Hackman. Annette O’Toole is probably the best Lana Lang ever, igniting a romance with Clark that felt more real than the Lois/Clark/Superman love triangle from the earlier movies. And, though he gets a bad rap for this movie, Richard Lester is actually not a bad director to do a Superman movie in the first place. He is, after all, the same guy who did Hard Day’s Night.

    The movie contains plenty of iconic scenes, such as the simmering rage of Superman when he turns evil, Superman putting out the fire in the chemical plant by freezing the top of the lake, friggin’ child-traumatizing Robo-Vera, and Webster’s ski loft he had built on top of his skyscraper.

    In fact, I’m not even going to recommend that Richard Pryor be elimated, because I thought he did OK in the movie. What I think needed to be done, though, was to solidify the plot more. The late-hour twist about the computer should’ve been front and center in the movie. It shouldn’t have been Gus’ idea (that weakened the whole ending where he’s the only bad guy not to go to jail; he friggin’ built a computer with nuclear warheads!) The computer — supposedly movie Braniac — should’ve been Webster’s idea all along from the beginning, and his plot to kill Superman (or turn him into an evil version) should’ve been part of that plan. You could even tie it in to the whole weather satellite business… you know, the one that the tried to destroy Columbia with.

    Then I’d extend the fight scene with computer at the end. Honestly, Robo-Vera was a frightening opponent, and I was disappointed she was in the movie for so short a time.

    I’m serious: a few tweaks and Superman 3 could probably be remembered as the best Superman movie of all time.

    • Wow-ZA. That is a BOLD statement. LOL

      Especially given as right now, people barely remember Superman 3 at all. 😀

      That title is wide open though. All the Superman movies have major weaknesses. They’re just waiting to be blown away by a solid, action packed movie. That crown is literally just waiting for someone to step up and take it. I SO hope it’s “Man of Steel”. Cmonnnnn Zack Snyder!

      • I think the best part of Superman 3 is how bad ass and sexy Chris Reeve looked as the rogue Superman 😉 I wouldn’t mind seeing more scenes of bad Supes, ha..ha.. Now seriously, I think a whole entire rewrite might be necessary to fix Superman 3, it’s just silly and ridiculous all around.

      • Yeah, I mean, that was my recollection Ruth. But admittedly, I havent seen it in a long time.

        Good to have you on record as a Supes fan and not just a fan of Cavill’s upcoming appearance, LOL.

  5. UGH, I hate when you toss a question that I clearly have a witty answer for, but I can’t remember it. Okay, This Means War…I would’ve liked it better if Witherspoon’s character choose Hardy’s character. Ugh, not witty at all.

    • LOL. Oh. Totally witty. That’s one we’re going to be talking about for awhile, Jen!! 😀 😀

      LOL. You couldnt see that one coming though? Hardy had the “Movie Safety Net” – they could (and did) put him back together with his wife and kid and then everyone is happy. And you know that movie needed to leave everyone happy.

      • Ah, screw the wife and kid. Nah, I’m just kidding. You are right, but why does the arrogant (but deep) guy gets the girl?!?

        I’m always here for a laugh…it’s all fun and games when it comes to movies, IMO.

      • TRUE THAT.

        A movie is fun or it fails. Even one of those miserable, bummer movies… It needs to be engrossing and/or enlightening, and thus FUN!

        That’s my philosophy, Marty Jen. 😀

  6. Open Range did not need the last ten minutes of ad lib love story between Kostner and Benning. It did not exist prior to that as any sort of relationship and muddled the ending rather than two stand-up cowboys taking out the unsavory influence on the town which was the good part and main part of the story.

    Story/scene editing seems to be a lost art in general; wasn’t it Lucas who had Spielberg edit Star Wars because he [Lucas] couldn’t see the forest for the trees at that point in his production.

    • LOL – I never heard that… About Spielberg editing Star Wars. I mean, maybe… I think I’d need a footnote link for that comment 🙂

      Meanwhile, I didn’t have much issues with the post-script romance in Open Range, but I hear you. Was certainly a Hollywood cliche insertion. 😦

  7. I remember being completely disgusted with Skyline. I would’ve been better if MasterChief from Halo did actually show up!

    Contagion was good, but it was too reminiscent of Outbreak (minus the monkeys) it should’ve served as a better prequel to the Resident Evil films instead.

    and Real Steel should’ve had someone playing “Rock’em Sock’em Robots” somewhere in the film’s background. That woulda been awesome.

    Oh, and on a more serious note, Law Abiding Citizen became highly uninteresting once they pre-maturely revealed how everything was going down. They should’ve waited until the end like in Shawshank Redemption.

    a fun question today!

    • Thanks T! Thanks for pitching in on it!

      😀 Real Steel should have been CALLED Rock em Sock em Robots!! 😀

      I guess I can hear you on Outbreak, but it had been so long since I’d seen it that I didn’t even notice…

      Would you believe I’m 0 for 2 on those other flicks? Haven’t seen LAC or Skyline. 😦

  8. Chew, Hirsch, George (uncredited) & Marcia Lucas (George’s then wife) are film editors of Star Wars per My hearsay is from an A&E network show behind the scenes of SW that claimed production wore down Lucas’ health. So he called his good friend Spielberg to make suggestions for the final edit. This is unconfirmed online thusfar 😦 .

    • LOL. Can you imagine though? I think it would completely undermine the rest of Lucas’ directorial credibility. The first Star Wars is the only one he has to his (mostly) sole credit! People would give Spielberg credit! LOL!

      • If this is true, Spielberg should get a footnote somewhere. However, I don’t know if this undermines Lucas’ directorial credibility- maybe or maybe not. As we all know, so much innovation and effects were created for the groundbreaking original that I’d really not like to take anything away from that film except that the original ’77 release should not be so unavailable as I read only New Hope is sold now. Additionally, Lucas did write Star Wars which may one of the biggest feathers in his cap; apparently that screenplay started in 1974 per trivia. Gotta love Star Wars! 🙂

      • @S: I agree. George Lucas may have trouble directing actors, but his strength has always been special effects. I really can’t blame him too much for the prequels, because he knew his strengths and he was trying to play to them. Star Wars Eps I-III were less about weaving an epic than about trying to jumpstart special effects to the next level the way the original trilogy did.

        Sad to say, I think even there he lost his touch a little due to his overreliance on CGI… but man, those scenes with the X-Wings and TIE Fighters and AT-ATs and Star Destroyers from the original trilogy are pretty much unassailable. To me at least, no movie has ever replicated the fantastic grandeur and visuals of the original Star Trek trilogy.

      • And by “Star Trek” I mean “Star Wars”.

        *Ducks from all the irate fanboys*

        *raises head after realizing the Trek/Wars fanboy mudslinging has pretty much not been a thing since Episode One and the JJ Abrams Trek came out*

      • LOL. Yeah, I think I may have even switched sides on the Star Wars Star Trek debate – I may have a “Great Debate” thread about it one of these days. I would have NEVER thought it, but I may lean more towards Trek than Wars now.

        My big thing with Lucas is that everyone credited him with being a visionary director in the late 70s, early 80s due to the original trilogy. But when you look at it, the only one he actually directed was Star Wars. Dont get me wrong, of course he deserves massive props for the entire trilogy, but technically….

        Anyways, post Star Wars he had some less than incredible efforts, followed by the prequels which… WOW. Atop of which, he keeps changing the original trilogy and claiming its an improvement, when almost 100% of the changes are hack.

        So can you imagine if it was revealed that Spielberg had that kind of influence on SW? It’s all Lucas has left on his “Genius Director” resume! It would be gone!

  9. Please, erase Jar Jar. He’s funny but doesn’t fit.

    Other edits I would make:
    – erase Alec Baldwin’s character from To Rome with Love
    – change the last twenty to thirty minutes of Dead Poets Society
    – make Bruce Willis getting shot in the beginning of The Sixth Sense lead to a less predictable twist ending
    – end The Mist totally differently. PUH-LEEZ…
    – add more developing scenes to Chronicle
    – erase those scenes from The Simpsons Movie where Homer wanders around alone in Alaska. Love the movie, but the scenes are too sentimental and carry on too long.
    – speaking of sentimental…change the ending in Planes, Trains & Automobiles
    – erase the unnecessary “twist epilogue” in Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes
    – put more emphasis on Matt Damon getting shot at the end of The Departed
    – digitally erase Samuel L. Jackson from Die Hard 3

    Great post!!

    • Wow. That’s a hell of a shopping list! LOL

      Let me focus on the ones I’ve seen and would – not see eye to eye on.

      The twist in Sixth Sense fooled about 80,000,000 people. I would say that even if it didnt get you, that’s still one of the greatest twist endings of all time, and a great great movie….

      And I like the end of the Mist. That end (even though youre the second person to offer it up in this thread) is what makes the movie memorable!

      I’ll throw you an olive branch though and say how about we just erase Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes altogether? LOL 😀

      • When I first saw The Sixth Sense, I missed the first fifteen minutes and was shocked by the ending. Then I watched it again about six months later and I was like “What!? Just that first scene made the twist ending so obvious!!” Still it’s a great film.

        I agree The Mist is memorable because of the end, but for different reasons. I probably would have forgotten the movie instantly otherwise, because it’s so routine. But the end is one of the biggest “what the hell” moments I’ve ever seen on film. Here’s my review if you’d like to read it, Fogs:

        And YES!! Of all pointless remakes and reboots and what have you, Burton’s POTA remake is the king! I was so generous to give it a C in the earlier age of my blog. :/

      • Oh! Well, there you go! It was a simple answer… you saw it out of order and now it SEEMS obvious.

        Trust me on this one… I nail like 75% of all twists I ever see in movies, I’m not easy to get stuff by, I’ve just seen WAY to many movies. With the Sixth Sense, you get so engrossed in what’s happening with the boy the first time around that you forget all about that opening stanza to the movie… absolutely forget about it. Tellin’ ya, I think it would have got you too.

        I will grant that now that you know it IS certainly a case of slapping your forehead and thinking “How did I miss that!!”

        I’ll try to get over to check out your post, but it’ll have to be later, I have a podcast in ten minutes and then have to crash for the night! 😦

  10. Finding it hard to think of any. Mostly because I’m usually so accepting of what is given to me in a film. Not matter how much I might dislike it, I can never really think of changing it because I wouldn’t know what to change it to.

    Saying that I do like your idea with The Village. Too obvious and just eh. I actually enjoyed the film until that ending.

    I would have preferred it if TDKR had ended with the frame on Alfred’s face, rather than explicitly seeing what was scene. Add a bit more ambiguity in there. Maybe that would have been too Inception-like though.

    Generally though, I get frustrated with fantasy/sci fi films that kill off characters only to have some mcguffin bring them back. You’ve made a commitment to kill them so bloody well follow through!

    • Yeah, “The Village” could have easily been a twistless film. Just reveal that the elders were punking people to keep them under control (which was pretty obvious all along) without the anachronism thing. They pay their price with the Adrien Brody incident. The end. 10x better movie.

      The Inception like ending is a MUCH better ending, I’ve heard that idea elsewhere and it’s very cool. Still think that flick would have had issues though.

      😀 I know you’re a big fan…. I did read your review, btw, but I think I got interrupted before commenting and never got back. 😦

  11. OK, I was sitting here thinking about my answer when I read this line:

    “How about taking Mickey Rooney out of ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’?”

    YES. I love that movie but damn if Rooney doesn’t try to ruin it for me. I just can’t fathom that someone thought this was a good idea…

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