I had been here before.

Unsuspecting. No particular anticipation.

But I’m a veteran, experienced. Getting grizzled now even.

So when that first swell started… I noticed it right away. The first visuals, I mean, right from the opening shot. I was like “Ooh. Garish.” The dialogues starts. Mickey Rourke sets a priest on fire. There was a different taste in the air. I sat straighter in my seat.

This was¬†“Awesomely Awful”¬†territory. And big surf at that.

I geared up. Headed out. The fight scenes started and a parade of people in silly looking costumes flatlined dialogue about Gods and mortals. “Get me out there, get me out there” was all I could think. This was a monster. “Theseus” fights a “Minotaur” that’s really just a big dude in a barbed wire bull mask. I tweeted madly, laughed out loud openly. This was legendary stuff! “Get me out there get me out there!”

Little did I know what I was facing.

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